In a previous article, I talked about how people perceive overweight people. In that entry, I said that I was “realizing that someone who sees me for the first time will still see me as a big fat guy.” While this may be true, it is not necessarily the case. I think that this is a much bigger reflection on myself, on how I see myself. When I look in the mirror, I still see the big fat guy. I still see my 330+ pound self, even though I am now much, much thinner. It’s how I see myself. I need to change that.
I’ve always had a poor self-image. This ended up being a self-fulfilling prophecy. I felt like I was horribly fat, and I ended up making myself exactly that way. I spent years and years with nothing but negative thoughts (“who am I trying to fool?” “I’m such a slob.” “Why am I trying? I have no self control!” “I am so fat, I’m just going to keep getting fatter.”). It was easy – far too easy – to let myself start listening to those thoughts. To agree with them, in a way, or tof all under their spell.
That’s a goal I have set in front of myself. I need to stop with the negative self-talk. I need to encourage myself through hard times, not beat myself up over them. I need to acknowledge all of the hard work I’ve done, instead of obsessing over the times that I didn’t do so well.
I need to change the way that I think. Everything else will fall into place once I do.