Weigh-in for September 22, 2007

Current weight: 319.5
Difference from last entry: -3.5
Difference from 2007 starting weight (335.5): -16

To quote Bender, “OH YOUR GOD!!!” I did it! I made one of my major minor goals, and got below the 320 pound mark! I DID IT!!! I cannot tell you how much this means to me. I don’t know if I can put into words how I feel right now. As nice as it is to see the total number of pounds that I’ve lost going up, crossing weight boundaries is much more concrete to me. It gives me a greater sense of accomplishment. I like that I’ve lost 16 pounds since the start of the year. But I am ecstatic that my weight is actually below 320!

I had to look this up in my spreadsheet to see the last time I weighed less than 320 pounds. It was March of 2004. After that, I started an uphill climb that really never stopped until tihs year. I had been slowly but steadily gaining weight. As I mentioned in my previous entry, I was feeling very discouraged about this. And the fact that I always seem to shoot myself in the foot when it comes to losing weight. I lose a little, figure that I can continue on my own, then gain back everything I’ve lost and more. This has really depressed me lately. Especially once I realized how ashamed I am of what I have done to myself.

However, things feel a lot different now. I know it is dangerous to tie how I am feeling to what the scale shows. But I also think it is good to acknowledge one’s successes. And this is most definitely a success. And a milestone I’ve been looking forward to. I will feel just as ecstatic when I cross the 310 boundary. And I can’t even begin to say how joyous I’ll feel once my weight crosses over into the 200s. I can see that happening, and know that it will be happening soon, maybe by the end of the year. That is a thrilling thought.

In the Weight Watchers meeting this week, we discussed visualizing outcomes. I have always thought that the key was visualizing myself losing weight. But apparently, the more successful method is to visualize myself after I’ve lost weight. So instead of seeing myself continuing to lose weight to get down to 309, I should be picturing myself fitting into a smaller pants size, being able to walk up a flight of stairs without getting winded, etc. And instead of seeing myself chipping away towards 299, I should be picturing myself dancing in joy and celebrating the fact that I am finally under 300 pounds.

I think I can do that. It’ll make me misty with happiness.

But I think I deserve some tears of joy. 😀

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