January 15, 2004

Weight: 319. Difference from last entry: +4

Wow. All I can keep saying is that. Wow… and that’s not a good wow. What exactly happened here? How did I gain 4 pounds in a week? My immediate reaction was, of course, “Can’t be! I’ve been good!” But that’s crap, I haven’t been good. I’ve been cheating, adding in deserts and snacks. My same old downfall throughout all of these years.

On the plus side, the shock from the scale got my butt moving back to eDiets. While I’ve had a harder time than expected getting back onto track with eDiets, I am slowly working my way back in. I’ve gotten myself back to drinking about a gallon of water a day. I am watching the number of calories that I am eating and I am trying to substitute in healthy snacks instead of empty-calorie snacks. I will recover from these gains. And I’ve learned something from them: I have to be on a weight management program.

Actually, I’ve known this all along. When I am on some type of weight management program, be it Weight Watchers, the AHA‘s Fit For Life, or eDiets, I’ve done a good job of managing my weight. When I go off a program, I gain weight. I am not disciplined enough to do this on my own. When I am off program, all of my bad habits creep back in. When I am on program, I stick to what the program says.

So now I am coming to grips with the fact that I’ll have to be on a weight management plan for the rest of my life. It’s a weird concept. I don’t like thinking of anything as “have to do this for the rest of my life.” Yet I really want to get into better shape and then stay there. This yo-yo dieting is pissing me off.

So I will. I’ll agree to stay with eDiets for the rest of my life. I’ll use their weight-loss plan ’til I get down to 220 or so, then use their maintenance plan to stay there. That’s my happy thought for today.

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