My poor journal. I have neglected it so. Two months without an update! And after I had just mentioned that I would be updating it on a more consistent pattern. I have fallen into such bad habits…
My pattern over the past few months has been to go to the Y, workout, feel wonderful, head to a computer and write about it, then not make it back to the Y for a month. So I end up with an entry every month or so saying, “I’m really motivated now! I’m going to be good, and I am going to post a lot!” And then, when I am not behaving as well as I thought I was going to, I feel like I can’t write more here, because I don’t want to admit that I am not as motivated as I thought. And that leads to a really bad (and unhealthy) circle.
I don’t know if I am about to repeat that cycle today. I fully intend to go to the Y and work out as soon as I can clock out (in about a half-hour). So is this entry just another celebratory post, not to be followed up on for another month or two?
I really do need to post here more often. Every day, if possible. One of the things that I really need is accountability. Right now, I can eat whatever I want because I am not accountable to anything. If I simply ignore that I am eating way too much, then I can do that and not feel bad. But I am feeling bad, and my health is deteriorating.
So I am setting a new goal right now. This is actually the same as the goal I set for my LiveJournal: two to three entries per week. I may not have much to say in them, but I am going to make myself follow through on them.
Because really, I have no other choice.