29 Mar

A new set of goals

Okay, sorry for my whining diatribe yesterday. I am back with a more productive post. I reckon that some goals will help me focus on what I need to do. Goals are good, since they give a person something to work towards. Instead of saying something ambiguous like “I want to lose weight,” it forces us to do something concrete, like “I am going to lose 5 pounds by the end of the month.” Goals are very important, especially for people who have a competitive streak.

I sat down and mapped out a long term goal, and have that chopped up into a couple of short-term goals:

Long term goal: Lose 35 pounds by Halloween. The date is easy, since it is close to my son’s birthday. And he is part of the reason I really want to start getting back on track. I am picking the weight goal for a pragmatic reason. I want to have a heart scan done. The tables only hold a max weight of 300lbs, though, so I have to be under. 35 pounds would put me at 295, so I’d have room to spare.

Long term reward: Picking an appropriate long-term reward is kind of hard. It’s a guilt thing. Two-pronged actually. Guilt that I don’t really deserve a reward, since I’ve been a lot lighter than 295 in the past couple of years. That’s bullshit, of course. This is a new goal, it stands separately from everything except for my current weight. 35 pounds is a very good goal, and deserves to be celebrated. (The other reason I feel guilty is I hate spending money on myself.)

Okay, add all of that up, and I still need to set up a reward. And there’s only really one thing that stands out in my mind. If I am at 295 (or less) on Halloween 2010, I am going to buy myself a complete set of Legend of Zelda games for the Wii. This includes LoZ: Twilight Princess, and the earlier LoZ games on the Wii Virtual Console (I already have The Wind Waker). And no, I really don’t mind being labelled such. [grin]

Short term goal: There are seven months ’til Halloween, which  makes short-term goals easy.  5 pounds a month – approximately 1.25 pounds per week – and I am there. It sounds so easy on paper! It looks so easy on the computer screen. And it should be easy. At my weight, losing a pound or two a week should be a breeze. One less pop-tart, an extra 5 minutes walking a day, any of these will allow my body to get rid of this weight. It’s not natural to be this overweight, and one’s body will automatically start shedding weight if I just get out of its way.

Short term reward: At the end of each month, if I lost the 5 pounds I needed in that month, I’m gonna allow myself to buy any book I want. No guilt about spending the money, and no guilt about how silly or popcorn-ish the book might be. 🙂

Here’s to my first book! 🙂

27 Mar

Long damned time since a real update

Okay, so it has been a really, really long time since I’ve done an actual update in this journal. No surprise there: I am doing very poorly controlling my weight, so I don’t want to post here. Who wants to wallow in their misery? What’s the fun in that?

Of course, this journal isn’t supposed to be about just the fun stuff. It’s supposed to be about the bad stuff, too. And I’ve had a lot of bad stuff going on. I am just so used to dealing with stress with eating that I don’t even notice it anymore. Busy work week? Eat an extra pastry at the coffee shop. Snow outside is making me nervous about driving? Carton of chocolate milk and a donut or two.

Then, for some reason that I cannot remember anymore, I stopped exercising. No more 45-minute walks at lunchtime! What the hell is wrong with me? That was cheap, easy exercise. I would combine that with a treat (say a non-fat latte from the former Peaberry Coffee), listen to some tunes, and just enjoy. Now it is hard to get myself out of my office chair at all. Seriously, wtf?

[le sigh] More sometime later.