Biffster’s WeightJournal.com

Those of you unfamiliar with the Weight Watchers program won’t be familiar with the idea of exercise Points. The concept is straight-forward though: physical activities are given a certain number of Points. One’s goal is to get as many activity Points in a week as they can, depending on their fitness level. I had been lucky to get 3-4 Points a week up until recently. For as fat and out-of-shape as I was when I started, I thought that was pretty good.

I’ve slowly been ramping myself up since then. Getting into an exercise routine has helped immensely. In the previous week, I pulled in 8 activity Points. Last week, I broke an all-time personal record for myself by logging 16 activity Points.

So far this week, I have 10!

Yeah, that is good stuff.

It was a bad week, but it is easier to talk about it than to type it up. So I did just that. Enjoy!

http://weightjournal.com/audio/2747.ogg

In a previous article, I talked about how people perceive overweight people. In that entry, I said that I was “realizing that someone who sees me for the first time will still see me as a big fat guy.” While this may be true, it is not necessarily the case. I think that this is a much bigger reflection on myself, on how I see myself. When I look in the mirror, I still see the big fat guy. I still see my 330+ pound self, even though I am now much, much thinner. It’s how I see myself. I need to change that.

I’ve always had a poor self-image. This ended up being a self-fulfilling prophecy. I felt like I was horribly fat, and I ended up making myself exactly that way. I spent years and years with nothing but negative thoughts (“who am I trying to fool?” “I’m such a slob.” “Why am I trying? I have no self control!” “I am so fat, I’m just going to keep getting fatter.”). It was easy – far too easy – to let myself start listening to those thoughts. To agree with them, in a way, or tof all under their spell.

That’s a goal I have set in front of myself. I need to stop with the negative self-talk. I need to encourage myself through hard times, not beat myself up over them. I need to acknowledge all of the hard work I’ve done, instead of obsessing over the times that I didn’t do so well.

I need to change the way that I think. Everything else will fall into place once I do.

Current weight: 285
Difference from last entry: -5
Difference from 2008 starting weight (290.5): -5.5

This could’ve been a very, very bad week. I had a really rough weekend last weekend. I made some extremely stupid choices food- and eating-wise, and it showed almost immediately. My weigh-in for Sunday was around 288, and my weigh-in on Monday morning was 290. How I gained 4.5 pounds in a couple of days is something I don’t want to face. I went batshit crazy on my eating. We ate out a lot last weekend, and I made poor choices while doing so. But worse was snacking. I was constantly snacking on bad stuff… potato chips, dip, ice cream… it’s like I totally reverted to my old habits.

Actually, it’s not just “like I totally reverted.” I did revert to my old ways, my old habits. I was eating too many sweets. I as eating because I was bored. I was eating at night, between dinner and bedtime. I was scrounging around the house to find sweet things to eat. My sweet tooth is always a problem, but it fired up big-time for some reason. Actually, the reason is probably low self-control. But there had to be more than that. And that is something that I will need to investigate. Stress, emotions, lack of sleep… that all played in.

That was last weekend, though, and I want to concentrate on the week. I knew I needed to make up for my bad weekend, and I had to work to get my weight back down. I am really in the habit of getting over to the rec center for a long walk and some weight training, so I did that three times last week. I’ve been getting in 35 minute walks, plus weights. I also had one day where I went for a walk around the park by work. it is a huge park with a great walking track. I walked for a little more than an hour. I also stayed within my daily Points range through most of the week. Add that all up, and I lost all of that extra weight, plus a half-pound. So this was mostly an excellent week.

And I needed that, to make things right.

At the WeightWatchers meeting this week, one of the questions for discussion was: “Why do I want to lose weight?” I figured that would make a great topic for a journal entry, so here I am.

Why I want to lose weight:

• So I don’t have a heart attack when I am 40
• So my children are not embarrassed of me when they are of school age
• So I can keep up with my kiddos while we play
• So my wife and I can snuggle closer
• So I have more stamina for physical activities
• So I can wear some of the cool clothes I have stored away in the basement
• So my lower back stops hurting
• So I can finally fit into the Hawaiian shirt that is actually from Hawaii
• So I can feel less self-conscious, and maybe even attractive
• So I can fit into rides at Elitch Gardens
• So I can prove to myself that I can manage my weight

That’s what comes to mind right now. Feel free to leave comments below, sharing the reasons you want to lose weight.

Current weight: 285.5
Difference from last entry: -3.5
Difference from 2008 starting weight (290.5): -5

This was a very interesting week. I’ve had kind of a rough time keeping my snacking under control. Well, strike that. I’ve had a hell of a bad week food-wise. I’ve been snacking, and not making very good choices food-wise in general. For example, on the night of my WeightWatchers weigh-in, I had a spicy chicken sandwich and a double stack from Wendys. Why? ‘cuz I was friggin’ starving. I let too much time go between lunch and dinner. And I didn’t eat enough for lunch. So when it was time for dinner, I grabbed the first things that sounded good to me. And my choice was horrible!

The rest of my week kinda went that way. Not as bad – that was by far my worst meal. But I also have been going above and beyond my Points allotment for the day, and for the week. By all rights, I should have gained weight over this week! But I made one very important change: Exercise!

That’s right: for the first time in a very long time, I actually got in some regular exercise! I actually did this in two ways: First, I started taking the light rail train into work. The parking spot I chose is about a three-minute walk or so from the light rail station. My office is a good 20-25 minute walk from the light rail station. All told, I was getting in a good 40-45 minute walk each day. But that was quite expensive, both money-wise ($6 for a round trip) and time wise (this added a good hour to each leg of my commute). I was going to keep doing this, but it would’ve been a tremendous – and probably silly – thing to do.

I think I mentioned here before that my wife E and I have a new baby. E hasn’t been getting a lot of sleep because of this. I felt bad about waking E up in the morning – one of the few times she can actually get to sleep – to take my shower. I decided that taking my shower somewhere outside of the house would be a good idea. The perfect place to do that would be at the local rec center. And if I would be there to shower, why not exercise?

So exercise I did. I started out with a one-mile walk around the walking track. I added in a little strength training. I finished things up with a good soak in the hot tub. And I was able to get to work by 8:30. Everything worked so well, that I tried it again the next morning. And then two mornings later. By the third morning, I was up to a 35 minute walk! All in all, I felt great, too. Not just after the workout, but for the rest of the day.

All told, I figure I got in 45 minutes of exercise four times over the last week, plus some weight training thrown in, too. All that exercise helped burn up some calories, as can be seen in my weight for this week. I should’ve gained! But instead I lost.

Oh, and by the way: I am now down 50 friggin’ pounds from the start of 2007!!!!