For the first time in a long time, I am feeling my motivation taking a dangerous turn. I am not quite certain why, but I am feeling like snacking all the time. I am actively talking myself out of exercising. It is like someone flipped a switch, and all of my bad habits are trying to make their way back into my life. And I am aiding them, by not forcing myself to do the things that I need to do. I sometimes make it too easy for me to not do what I need to do. To give up, to quit, to take the easy path. I need to fight against that. I have to make sure that I keep fighting.
I am trying to re-define what my anchor means to me. The TARDIS key has served me well, lo these many years. But I have had it long enough that it is kinda losing its symbolism. It is sort of the same thing that happened with my wedding ring. I love my wedding ring, and it means the world to me. But I am so used to having it with me that I don’t notice it. Which means that it doesn’t serve as the reminder that it should. An anchor should be something that you notice, that kinda pokes itself into you and says, “hey dummy! Remember your promise to yourself!” If something is easily ignored, then it doesn’t make a good anchor.
So I am trying to do two things: First, I am trying to consciously notice that I have my TARDIS key around my neck. And then, I am trying to redefine what it is reminding me of. Instead of just a generic “do this,” I want it to remind me of my current mantra: “don’t give up, and never forget.” I just need to repeat this to myself, over and over. And to hold onto my anchor when times are tough.
Motivation will wax and wane. I’ve been lucky so far this summer and fall. My motivation has been strong so far, and losing the weight that I have lost has been relatively easy. (I actually wrote about that earlier this month). Now the real challenge begins.
I am pretty certain I am up to it. 🙂