28 Oct

Weigh-in: Keep on keepin’ on

Current weight: 306.5
Difference from last entry: -2.5
Difference from 2007 starting weight (335.5): -29

I am finally having people tell me that they’ve noticed that I am losing weight. Which is quite awesome, and it is what I have been waiting for. I had figured I just had a malfunctioning scale, or that my pants weren’t as loose as they seemed, or that I was wearing different clothes to my WeightWatchers weigh-in, and that was the reason that I saw the scale going down and down. But now there’s no doubt. I had three different people tell me that I looked less fat last night. That makes five people this week. And that’s enough to convince me that this weight loss is real.

I think that it should be understandable that I am a little hesitant to believe what is happening. It has been so long since I’ve successfully lost weight. I haven’t done it consistently since my son is born. It is apt that I am doing this now, actually. It sorta echoes four years ago. But I have hopefully learned from my mistakes, and I fully plan on not allowing myself to backslide on this. I have done a great job getting myself to this point. I won’t allow myself to throw it all away again.

I learned a lot about foods that I like to have eating out with regards to points. For example, QDoba’s steak nachos clock in at 27 points!! QDoba’s steak quesadilla is right up there, with 26 points. The “cheapest” I found for any of QDoba’s stuff was their burritos, and I couldn’t get those down past 16 points or so.

But that doesn’t even compare to the worst at Baja Fresh. Their steak nachos clock in at an amazingly scary 52 points! 52 points! Basically, if you aren’t going to have tacos at Baja Fresh, then stay away. Their stuff has far too many points for the taste. A better alternative is Taco Bell. A steak soft taco Fresco style = 3 points. A baja steak gordita made fresco style = 5 points. One could have 5 gorditas and still have two points less than an order of nachos from QDoba. That’s a big-time difference.

And that’s been my biggest key to losing all this weight: finding alternatives. Low-fat cheese instead of regular. 6″ fat free tortillas instead of 8″ regular tortillas. Light bread instead of regular. Egg substitute instead of eggs.

Portion control has also been a big part of this. I ate way, way too much of everything. I have trimmed that down a lot. I’ve also started eating reasonable portion sizes of healthy foods, like peanut butter. I’ve mostly cut out sweet drinks (except for my morning latte, which I am more than willing to spend points on). The combination of all of this makes losing weight rather easier than one would think.

Of course, a large part of that is how obese I am. It takes a hell of a lot of calories to maintain 300+ pounds of weight. Cutting back those calories to a sensible level means immediate and consistent weight lose. Just like I am seeing now.

Next week I’ll hit 30 pounds lost for the year. And by the end of the year, I’ll hit a 10% weight loss for this year, AND there’s a good chance I’ll be under 300 pounds. As I’ve said before, those are my goals for the rest of the year.

I will hit those goals.

20 Oct

Weigh-in: Another milestone

Current weight: 309
Difference from last entry: -2
Difference from 2007 starting weight (335.5): 26.5

I had a very interesting dream last night. I dreamt that I was out traveling somewhere. I stopped at a foodcourt at an airport to get something to eat. The only choices were completely unhealthy, of course. And I decided that I was not only going to have something high-calorie and fatty, but I was also going to have two desserts to go with it. I actually slept in my dream, and when I woke up the next morning I decided that I was going to completely go off of the plan while I was traveling. I figured that, since I was traveling, it was okay to revert back to my old habits.

I think that it is interesting that I am having anxiety dreams that I won’t be able to stick to this plan. And I understand why. I am on a great run. I’ve lost a lot of weight this year, and I feel great about that. I feel absolutely fantastic about it. And I am kinda proud of myself to have gotten this far. So of course I’ll be worried that I am going to screw things up, that I am going to revert back to my old ways. I have done that so many times before. There’s a part of me that really worries about that.

And I probably should, every now and then. The last couple of days this week have been very tempting. I have had some odd cravings at night. Including last night, when I felt like I had to eat something – anything – after dinner last night. which was odd, because I used a whole boatload of points to have one of my comfort foods – QDoba’s steak nachos (27 points!!!). That is a whole lotta food, and I was STUFFED afterwards. So why did I want more? Dunno, but I think it is just old habits, old cravings. Those kind of things die hard.

And I know this. I am watching out for it. I am keeping an eye out on my feelings and my cravings and what drives each. I have been filling rather listless lately, which probably has contributed to my craving for comfort foods. Stress at work figures into that, too. It’s not a bad stress, but it is still stress. Management is stressful by definition, I think. Add all of that up, and comfort foods become very tempting.

Obviously, I haven’t given in to those temptations. I am down another 2 pounds, which puts me at 26.5 so far this year. It also means I broke another decade mark, as I crashed my way into the 30x’s. If I can keep losing at around this pace, I have a very real possibility to hit the 200’s by the end of the year. There are 10 weeks left. If I can lose a single pound each week, that’ll put me at 299 lbs on December 30th. If I didn’t already have a few great reasons to celebrate the end of the year, this would be at the top of the list.

So I have a new goal, a new figure to strive for. 299 by the end of the year.

I can do it.

I will.

-M

15 Oct

Weigh-in for October 13, 2007

Current weight: 311
Difference from last entry: -3.5
Difference from 2007 starting weight (335.5): 24.5

I am all grins and smiles right now. 🙂 I’m down another three pounds or so (mebbe a little less; we had to switch scales this week). I’ll know for certain when I weigh in at WW@W tomorrow. But I am fairly confident that I lost weight. And I am fairly confident that it is because of my dedication to the plan.

As silly as it can be sometimes, Weight Watchers has given me something that I’ve been lacking: structure. Between knowing how many points I have to eat in a day and having to be accountable to it – both on the daily food log and in the weekly meetings – I have found that I can no longer just wing it. I need to think about meals (I spent a good five minutes trying to figure out what to order when I had to make a stop at KFC this weekend). I need to decide what is worth the points, and what isn’t. I need to choose to drink water, even though I might want something sweeter. I have to be accountable.

I don’t know if I really learned anything important this week. Maybe it was learning that, after a really bad day, I can still recover and move on. One splurge won’t throw off anyone’s program, as long as they learn from it, and make plans to make sure that they don’t repeat it.

Actually, I guess that is pretty important. 🙂

One other thing, and I keep harping on this: the importance of an anchor. I wear my TARDIS key necklace every day, and Erin has noticed how much I rely on it nowadays. When I am tempted, I actually grab ahold of the necklace and hold on until that craving passes. It’s my way of remembering the promise I made, both to myself and my family. I will get to a healthy weight. I will make permanent changes to my lifestyle. I will fix what I have done to myself.

I will!