07 Sep

September 6, 2004

Current Weight: 325
Difference from last entry: -3

YAY! Yahoo! I am losing again! And, most importantly, I am backing away from that yucky high weight I was at. I tell you, I never want to get up that high again. I am so disgusted with myself right now!

This was really highlighted for me Saturday morning. Erin was in the pharmacy, and Colin and I were waiting in the car. I could see a reflection of myself in the mirror-tinted windows of the pharmacy. And I swear to god, my first thought was, “Who is that whale? Oh my god, it’s me!”

I hated what I saw in that reflection. I hate what I’ve done to myself. All my hard work has been destroyed, all because I don’t have the will power to resist stuff that I know is bad for me. I know how to eat healthy. I’ve just been too stubborn to do it. I have no one to blame but myself. Dammit!

On the plus side, I have been doing a lot better since Erin and I re-joined eDiets. While I haven’t been sticking 100% to the plan, I have been taking into consideration what I eat. And I’ve been trying to make sure that what I eat fits in calorie-wise with the plan. And apparently I am doing a good job. It’s showing at the scale, anyway! 😀