Difference from last entry: +4
Well, I think that you can tell that this hasn’t been my most successful few weeks, weight-management wise. I have really lost the desire to even try to maintain my weight. And it shows! It is very obvious, in both my weight and the way that I eat, that I don’t have any motivation at all right now.
I also didn’t have a lot of motivation to write an update. I had to force myself to the computer, and to the Blogger website. When I was losing weight, I loved to write in this journal. Now that I am actually gaining weight, I hate the thought of writing in the journal. It feels to me that I am admitting that I have failed. To the world, and worse, to myself.
The funny thing is that, once I actually start typing in this journal, I enjoy myself. I enjoy sharing my struggles with you, and with myself. Even when I am taking my lumps (or creating new lumps), I enjoy writing here. It reminds me a lot of my attitude towards exercise, actually. I hate the idea of exercise, but once I start, I usually enjoy it.
So here is my goal for the next couple of weeks. With the wedding so close, there’s pretty much no chance that my eating habits are going to improve. So instead, my goal is to get in some exercise, and to add a couple of updates to this journal. I’ll try to teach myself (through example) that these are two things that I should be loving to do. And we’ll have to see where things go from there!
I hope you had a wonderful Memorial Day!