30 May

Weight: 292
Difference from last entry: +4

Well, I think that you can tell that this hasn’t been my most successful few weeks, weight-management wise. I have really lost the desire to even try to maintain my weight. And it shows! It is very obvious, in both my weight and the way that I eat, that I don’t have any motivation at all right now.

I also didn’t have a lot of motivation to write an update. I had to force myself to the computer, and to the Blogger website. When I was losing weight, I loved to write in this journal. Now that I am actually gaining weight, I hate the thought of writing in the journal. It feels to me that I am admitting that I have failed. To the world, and worse, to myself.

The funny thing is that, once I actually start typing in this journal, I enjoy myself. I enjoy sharing my struggles with you, and with myself. Even when I am taking my lumps (or creating new lumps), I enjoy writing here. It reminds me a lot of my attitude towards exercise, actually. I hate the idea of exercise, but once I start, I usually enjoy it.

So here is my goal for the next couple of weeks. With the wedding so close, there’s pretty much no chance that my eating habits are going to improve. So instead, my goal is to get in some exercise, and to add a couple of updates to this journal. I’ll try to teach myself (through example) that these are two things that I should be loving to do. And we’ll have to see where things go from there!

I hope you had a wonderful Memorial Day!

Be well!
– Miguelito

04 May

Weight: 288
Difference from last entry: +5

Oops! I don’t think I can really say anything else except for “oops!” I am once again surprised at how easy it is to get way off track when trying to lose weight. Deciding not to go exercise one day, giving in and having a big burger for lunch the next day, sneaking in one carton of chocolate milk for breakfast, grabbing a candy bar at the gas station…. all of these are innocent actions by themselves. But add them all together, and they combine to quickly derail a person who is trying to lose weight. As I can attest too!

So now I basically have to start back over. Long time readers will know exactly where I am at. Odds are, if you’ve been trying to manager your weight for any amount of time, you know exactly what I mean, too. It is very hard to make progress losing weight; it is very easy, however, to gain weight. Most of us who are overweight have a lifetime’s worth of bad habits to try to overcome to lose weight. It is hard to break those habits, or to establish new, healthier habits.

I am thinking about creating a new scorecard that I can fill out for every entry I put into this journal. The format would be something like this:

Activity | Done?
Exercised at least twice?
Drank enough water?
Remember to stop eating when full?
Ate more than I needed/wanted?
Didn't eat something when the opportunity was there?
Ate something just because it was available?

Something like that. Oh, just in case you are interested, my answers this week would be, “No, yes, no, yes, no, yes.” Which isn’t good.

So here I sit, just a few short weeks away from my wedding, wondering what I can do to get back on track. This might be a rough couple of months. Be sure to drop back on by to see how I managed.

And, of course, be well!

– Miguelito